A sample of the chapters.

How fast do I talk to someone new?

With someone new, your words come quickly, one after another.

• Upside: Someone new learns a lot about what you think in the first few minutes.
• Downside: Someone new who needs more time misses words and asks you to repeat.

What does my face show to someone new?

As you talk to someone new, a smile stays on your face.

• Upside: Someone new sees a friendly face from your first words.
• Downside: Someone new sees you smile through most of your talk and does not take it as a reply to them.

How smooth is my talk when I meet someone new?

With someone new, you rarely say um or uh.

• Upside: Someone new hears few extra sounds between your words, so your sentences are easy to follow.
• Downside: Your talk sounds prepared, and someone new takes it as a speech more than a chat.

How much does my face move with someone new?

With someone new, your face moves a lot as you speak.

• Upside: Someone new gets your meaning from your face as well as from your words.
• Downside: In an interview, someone new takes your lively face as too casual.

Do I give views or descriptions to someone new?

With someone new, you say what you think of things and what should be done.

• Upside: Someone new takes you as open about what you think.
• Downside: Someone new must disagree to give a different view in the first minutes.

Do my face and voice move together with someone new?

With someone new, your face shows more expression as your voice grows louder within each sentence.

• Upside: On a call with poor sound, someone new still sees from your face which words you say louder.
• Downside: On camera, a small point said louder comes with a strong expression, and someone new takes it as important.

Where do my eyes go when I meet someone new?

With someone new, you keep your eyes on theirs while you talk.

• Upside: Someone new sees you keep looking at them and takes it as interest in them.
• Downside: Someone new gets few breaks from your look while you talk.

How do my sentences end when I meet someone new?

With someone new, your voice stays strong up to the last word of each sentence.

• Upside: On a call with a stranger, every word of yours comes through, the last one too.
• Downside: Someone new hears no fall in your voice and does not know when to speak.

How does my voice sound to people close to me?

With the people close to you, your voice rises and falls a lot.

• Upside: The people close to you hear which words matter most from how your voice moves.
• Downside: Small news sounds important because your voice rises and falls so much.

How much does my head nod in close talk?

In close talk, your head nods again and again as you speak.

• Upside: The people close to you take your many nods as an open, easy manner.
• Downside: In a hard talk, the people close to you take your many nods as a sign the matter is small.

Lever: In your next close talk, nod only at your main point.

How fast do my words come in close talk?

In close talk, each run of words comes out fast, even with pauses between.

• Upside: The people close to you take your fast words as lively talk.
• Downside: When you tell something hard, the people close to you miss words in the fast parts.

Do my face and voice go together in close talk?

In close talk, your face changes at the same moments as your voice.

• Upside: The people close to you get the same message from your face and from your voice.
• Downside: When your voice grows louder, your face shows more, so the people close to you see no steady face.

How much do I look at people close to me?

In close talk, your eyes stay on the other person's face.

• Upside: As they tell you something, the people close to you see your eyes on them and take it as listening.
• Downside: When someone close to you looks away to say something hard, you keep watching their face.

What do people close to me see on my face?

With the people close to you, smiles come to your face again and again.

• Upside: The people close to you see your many smiles and find you easy to talk to.
• Downside: When you talk about something serious, the people close to you see a smile and take it lightly.

How long does my expression last in close talk?

In close talk, your expression changes from one moment to the next.

• Upside: The people close to you see a new look on your face for each new subject.
• Downside: The people close to you see one look follow another and cannot tell which one is your answer.

Does my face change much over a long close talk?

In a long close talk, your face is still at times and very lively at others.

• Upside: The people close to you take your changing face as easy to read.
• Downside: In the still parts, the people close to you ask what has changed.

Does my voice get louder or softer in close talks?

In long close talks, your voice is louder in some parts and softer in others.

• Upside: In a long talk, the people close to you hear where one part ends and the next begins.
• Downside: In the softer parts of a long talk, the people close to you move closer or ask you to repeat.

How quickly do my stories come out with friends?

With friends, you tell your stories at high speed.

• Upside: Friends hear a lot of your story in a short turn.
• Downside: Friends who take longer to follow a story miss its small details.

How lively is my face with friends?

With friends, your face changes and moves through the whole talk.

• Upside: Friends take your lively face as a sign to talk and laugh with you.
• Downside: Friends watch your moving face and miss some of your words.

Do I nod as I talk with friends?

With friends, you nod your head many times as you tell a story.

• Upside: Friends see your many nods and nod along with your story.
• Downside: Friends take your many nods as a sign that you want them to agree.

Lever: In your next story to friends, keep your head still through the first part.

How does my voice change as I talk with friends?

With friends, your voice goes from loud to soft and back as you talk.

• Upside: Friends hear the funny part and the big moment of your story clearly.
• Downside: In a noisy room, friends miss the soft parts of your story.

How does my face look in a group of friends?

In a group of friends, you smile many times as the talk goes on.

• Upside: Friends see you smile at their stories, so they keep telling them.
• Downside: Friends take your smiles as a yes, even when you do not agree with them.

How long does each expression last with my friends?

With friends, your expression changes many times within a short part of the talk.

• Upside: As a friend tells a fast story, they see a new look on your face for each part.
• Downside: In a group, a friend who looks at you for a moment sees one look and misses the rest.

How does my voice end a sentence with friends?

With friends, you say the last word of each sentence as loud as the rest.

• Upside: When you tell friends a joke, they hear every word of it, the last one too.
• Downside: Your voice gives friends no sign that a sentence is your last, so they wait before they speak.

What kind of words do I use with friends?

With friends, you talk in words for ideas and qualities, like reason, freedom and meaning.

• Upside: When friends talk about what something means, you have the words for it.
• Downside: In a noisy group, friends ask what your words mean.

What do my eyebrows do as I talk with friends?

With friends, your eyebrows go up and your eyes open wide as you talk.

• Upside: Friends see your raised brows and take you as open to whatever they tell you.
• Downside: Friends see your raised brows and take plain news from you as bigger than it is.

Does my voice go higher and lower during long chats?

In long talks with friends, your voice is higher in some parts and lower in others.

• Upside: When you move to a new story, friends hear your voice change level and know it has begun.
• Downside: Friends hear your voice at a new level and take it as news, even when the story is the same.

Do people in meetings get a turn when I talk?

In meetings, you talk in long stretches with few stops.

• Upside: People you work with hear your point from start to end without a break.
• Downside: Someone with a question finds no gap and waits until you finish.

Lever: After your main point in a meeting, stop and wait one breath.

Do I say um and uh when I explain work?

Your explanations of work come with very few um and uh sounds.

• Upside: On a call, people you work with hear your words and very little um or uh.
• Downside: When you stop to think, people take the silence as the end of your turn.

How fast do I say my words at work?

At work, your words come fast once you start a sentence.

• Upside: Each of your sentences takes little time to say, even when it holds a lot.
• Downside: When you read out names or numbers, people you work with write slower than you speak.

In meetings, do I state my view or the facts?

In meetings, you say what should be done and what you think is good.

• Upside: People you work with hear your view on each item and answer it.
• Downside: When you give a view, people you work with ask for the facts behind it.

How loud and soft is my voice in meetings?

In meetings, your voice gets louder on some words and softer on others.

• Upside: People you work with hear which points matter from where your voice gets louder.
• Downside: On a call, people you work with turn the sound up and down as your voice changes.

In meetings, where does my voice go at sentence ends?

In meetings, your voice goes down on the last words of your sentences.

• Upside: People you work with hear each of your sentences as a finished statement.
• Downside: People you work with hear your suggestions as decided and do not add to them.

Is my head still or moving in meetings?

In meetings, your head moves for most of the time you talk.

• Upside: On a crowded video call, people you work with spot that you are the one speaking.
• Downside: In a serious meeting, people you work with take your moving head as less formal than the talk.

What kind of words do I use to explain work?

At work, your explanations use words like aim, quality and reason.

• Upside: People you work with hear the reasons behind each step you explain.
• Downside: People you work with take your explanations as hard to act on.

Are my sentences long or short when I explain work?

When you explain work, each sentence is short and holds one point.

• Upside: People you work with take your short sentences as clear and direct.
• Downside: In an easy chat, people you work with take your short sentences as unfriendly.

Does my voice change level over a long meeting?

Over a long meeting, your voice moves to higher and lower levels in different parts.

• Upside: In a long meeting, people you work with hear when your voice goes higher and listen more closely.
• Downside: On a call, people take a higher part of your talk as more urgent than the rest.

How do I find my words as I speak?

Your thoughts come out in long runs of words, with few stops.

• Upside: Listeners hear most of your idea at once, before you stop.
• Downside: You give yourself little time to choose a word before the next one comes.

Lever: Before you say your choice out loud, stop and count to two.

What do I do when I stop to think?

When you stop to think, you go quiet until the next word comes.

• Upside: Your listener can say a thought of their own in your silence.
• Downside: On a phone call, your silence makes your listener ask if you are still there.

Where do I look as I work out my words?

You keep looking at your listener even while you weigh what to say.

• Upside: While you think, your listener can still see you look at them, not at something else.
• Downside: Your listener has your eyes on them even while you think, with no break from your look.

Do I think out loud in ideas or in events?

When you think out loud, you talk about what holds in general.

• Upside: You weigh a choice by the pattern behind it, not by one day.
• Downside: Listeners who need an example wait for one that does not come.

How long are my sentences as I work things out?

As you work things out, you say each thought in a short sentence.

• Upside: Listeners get one clear thought at a time.
• Downside: Listeners hear your short sentences as final, even while you are still weighing the choice.

Where do I stop when I think out loud?

When you think out loud, you pause after sentences, not between their words.

• Upside: Listeners hear clearly where each of your sentences ends and the next one starts.
• Downside: Between your sentences, listeners wait in silence for the next part of your thinking.

Does my team see a smile as I speak?

As you give your team directions, you smile while you talk.

• Upside: Your team hears a hard task from you as a friendly request.
• Downside: When you say no to a request, your team sees a smile and asks again.

Does my voice move up and down when I lead?

When you guide a group, your voice moves high and low as you speak.

• Upside: Your team hears where each point starts and which part is the main one.
• Downside: When you give bad news, the rises and falls in your voice make it sound less serious.

What does my team hear when I pause to think?

With your team, your stops to think are silent.

• Upside: In your silences, your team has a moment to take in what you just said.
• Downside: Your team hears no sound to show that you are still choosing a word.

How loud or soft am I with my team?

With your team, you go loud for some points and soft for others.

• Upside: When you go loud, your team looks up and listens to that point.
• Downside: Your team hears the loud points more clearly than the soft ones.

Where does my voice go as I end an instruction?

When you guide your team, your voice falls on the last word of each instruction.

• Upside: Your team hears clearly where each instruction ends.
• Downside: Your team takes the first step you describe as the whole instruction.

Do I give my team ideas or examples?

With your team, you explain the general idea behind each task.

• Upside: Your team hears what holds across many tasks, not only this one.
• Downside: Your team hears the idea and then asks which step comes first.

Does my face change as I lead a group?

When you guide a group, your face changes between still and lively.

• Upside: Over a long talk, your team sees your face change and keeps watching you.
• Downside: Your team sees a still face during some instructions and takes those as less important.

How much does my head move when I lead?

When you guide a group, your head turns, tilts and shifts as you speak.

• Upside: Your team takes your moving head as an open, easy way of speaking.
• Downside: When you give a hard decision, your team takes your moving head as less final.

How do my eyebrows look to my team?

As you guide your team, your eyebrows rise and your eyes open wide.

• Upside: When you ask your team a question, your raised brows show that it is one.
• Downside: Your team sees raised brows during a firm instruction and takes it as open to debate.

How do my sentences come out when I lead?

With your team, you speak each sentence through and pause after it.

• Upside: Your team hears each sentence from its first word to its last without a stop.
• Downside: Your team hears a stop after each sentence and starts to answer before you are done.